Much Needed Update...

Yeah, sorry that I haven't given a good update... I'm still recovering from building the crib.

We have about 3 weeks to go if Tiff goes full term. So far she still feels pretty good. And she still likes Tim, so that's a good thing too.

In the last week we have finished the room, had an appointment with the pediatrician, completed the application for the day-care, and put the car-seat bases into both of our cars. Just a little planning ahead, people. We've also started building Tiff's emergency "holy crap we have to head to the hospital" bag. It is chock full of loose clothing for her, baby socks for the kid, and a little cooler big enough for a six-pack for me.

So since we're getting close enough to almost get into freak-out mode, I figure I'll take guesses (Mayse style) of the date, time, weight, length, and hair color of the baby. I was going to have you guess eye color, but I just learned that all newborns have blue eyes... who knew? (I still doubt the claim, but haven't stolen enought babies from the hospital to prove it otherwise)

So there's the update. Tiff has appointments once a week from now on, and I'll keep updating as we go along. If a little gooey kid pops out before then, we'll let you know immediately.

-- Tim

How to Build a Crib...

Now that we all know how to buy a crib, the next step is putting the thing together. The first step is hauling the many pieces up to the baby room.

-- Actually, to back up, the first step is jamming all of the baby furniture into the back of an F-150 and rolling along I-85 at 45mph with it all stacked up in the back like Jed Clampett. We did that yesterday, so here we are now --


The first thing I did was look for the instructions... not because I needed them, but to see if I could do them in Chinese. It's a fun little game I play.


Thankfully, I quickly found the crumpled up mass of paper known as the instructions. BUT, they were fake instructions. So I kept searching.


Once I finally found the instructions, I noticed they were in English. Disappointing I guess. I decided to read the instructions anyways, just to make sure I would have built the bed right... which I would have.


For some reason I needed an allen wrench, some cotton string, and a putter.

Weird.


The string didn't prove as effective as the bolts and wing-nuts did. But it did its job.


Once the crib was about complete, I needed to check to see if the floor was level. So that's what the putter was for.


Here's the assembled bed on the Plane Wall. I'll post pics of the finished room once we get it completed.

Note to Kid II...

Hey little man,

I just wanted to let you know I appreciate the Father's Day gift. You didn't quite do what I asked, but if you're anything like me, your ADD kicked in about two sentences into the note... so I forgive ya. But it does sound like you had a little chat with your mom, who let me go and "upgrade the grill." So no harm done.

I hope you don't mind, but I tapped into your college fund and went with the stainless steel. You'll appreciate it when you get teeth and can eat solid food (not that you need teeth with the way my steaks melt... ha).

So here's a picture of the pork shoulder you missed out on. Don't worry bud, I'm sure the breast milk will be way better.

-- Dad

The Stuff you Get...

While growing up, there are a few milestones that people give you stuff for. Graduating from high school was pretty cool, because people mostly give you money. Same with graduating from college, especially since you are genuinely poor, but they usually give you more money. Weddings are fun because your friends and family give you money, and blenders.

Then people find out you are having a baby, and they give you more stuff. In our case, you get onesies... a gazillion onesies. But unlike blenders, everyone has told us that we'll need all of them. So we're thankful for all of the onesies we've received, and we're also thankful for some of a few other fun gifts some avid B3 readers have given us.

Yup, we got the Monkey Baby Leash. I'm excited about taking the leashed kid places with a monkey on his back. Should be pretty fun.

We also got the Wee Block, the previously-mentioned urine super soaker-upper. Apparently, no one could find "Lil' Ladies Man," so we received "Tinkle Tinkle Lil' Star." Awesome.

From one of my cousins, I got the daddy survival kit, complete with: industrial rubber gloves, ginormous goggles, and disposable ponchos for when poop goes airborne (I heard it happens often); long handled tongs and disposable diaper bags, for the nasty diapers; a bottle of aspirin, for the headaches; a bottle of Jet-Alert, to help stay up on those late nights; clothespins; and a "Baby Gourmet" cooking tape ("Rated: Fresh & Fabulous").

A set of "Babies First John Deere Keys" were awesome. Seriously, he's going to learn how to mow the lawn when he's 3.

A little Pi Kappa Phi shirt. As soon as he's old enough to fit into it, I'll take pictures of him holding a PBR and getting friendly with the closest sorority baby.

Pacifiers are pretty cool because they generally shut babies up. But the Redskins pacifier is cool because it shuts them up while supporting my favorite team.

Lastly, we got the "Safe Baby Handling Techniques" book, complete with the Wheel of Responsibility on the front. The book is cool because not only does it tell you that babies generally do NOT eat fried chicken, but that only mommy should attempt breastfeeding. Boy, would I have been in trouble without it.

Thank you to everyone for all of the awesome gifts we have received. We still have room for more onesies, in case you see one that we can't live without.

Here's to you, 1,117...

1,117 hits on the blog???

What's wrong with you people? Don't you have anything better to do?

Note: If you put 1,117 in Wikipedia, it tells you that the following happened in 1,117 A.D.: Iceland ended slavery; Saint Magnus, the Earl of Orkney (of course) was executed; and the Miideri and the sohei of Enryakuji attacked Nara, Japan.

Ummm...

Well, here's a toast to 1,117, and a little thanks for visiting B3.



Now go do your own little dance, and stop back by later for more updates.

-- Tim

Promised Pic...

Here is the promised belly photo... kind of.


And yes, we have started on the baby's room. Aunt Sam is decorating the walls for us. I'll post the final nursery photos once it is done.

Note to kid...

Hey kiddo,

I know we don't really know each other yet... I haven't named you, I don't have any furniture for you yet, and I haven't bought you any Superman pajamas (yes, complete with the cape). But I am working on it.

As you know, about a month ago I bought your mom (your current transport vehicle) a massage for Mother's Day. Hopefully it relaxed you as much as it did her. Well Father's Day is fast approaching, and now I need your help. I know technically I'm not a father yet, but I'm not about to tell a 7-month pregnant lady she's not a mother yet either... you think I have a death-wish?

Here's what I need from you...

1) First I need you to start playing xylophone on your mom's ribs, get the hiccups, trampoline on her bladder, or any other annoying (but not too painful) thing your little plum-sized brain can think of.

2) Get her to think the only thing that will relax you is a car ride. She's pretty smart, so she'll figure it out fast.

3) Next, guide her to any of the following stores: Home Depot; Lowe's; anywhere that sells raw beef in large quantities; Bass Pro Shops... you get the idea.

4) If she turns on the car to leave without buying anything, start jabbing again.

5) Guide her, using the "warmer-colder" jab method (you'll figure it out) until she leaves with a gift in her hand. And make sure it's a good gift too... nothing lame like a tie, a pen holder, or a John Mayer CD.

6) Go ahead and relax on the drive back. You'll be exhausted.

Thanks in advance. And if you pull this off, I'll make sure your mom takes you to The Wiggles concert for your 3rd birthday.

-- Dad