Recently, I've got myself into the habit of taking a stroll through the baby section of any stores I might be visiting. I do this partly because I'm always amazed at the prices of formula, diapers, and tiny baby Air-Jordans... and partly because I'm easily distracted by all the bright colors...
On a recent trip to one of these stores with a pretty decent sized baby section, I was approached by a gum-chewing fairly adolescent looking employee, while I was staring down a whole row of baby shampoo. (The colors were impressive)
"Is there anything I can help you with?" she smacked through her Juicy-Fruit.
First of all, she was a nice girl, but I'm not really sure I want advice on baby products from a 16 year-old. This is South Carolina, so I shouldn't be surprised, I guess. Secondly, I wasn't in a rush, so I decided to have some fun...
I looked around up in the air like I was lost. "I'm looking for the dog shampoo."
"This is the baby section," she stated.
"Oh, I've got one of those too. What's the best brand of baby shampoo?"
She looked confused, then really excited to answer the question... "Oh, any of the Johnson & Johnson stuff is good." She pointed them out like Vanna White. "And a lot of people like the Gerber shampoo. But between you and me, there really isn't any difference between adult shampoo, like we use, and baby shampoo."
I chuckled not only because she felt she had to define adult in layman's terms, but because she included herself as one. I also disagreed with her, but I kept playing along...
"I use Old Spice Hair & Body Wash, so I can just use that?"
"I don't think that's approved by the American (insert some pediatrician society's name here... I kinda zoned out), so I would get real baby shampoo."
She pulled a purple one off the shelf and opened it, smelled it, and handed it to me. "This one is lavender. It helps your baby go to sleep."
I liked the smell... it smelled like a baby should. But I still make a coughing sound just to add to the fun.
"I'm not sure if this will get the fur really clean."
At this point she got real fidgety and I could tell she was looking around for an out. "Fur?"
"Oh, we don't have a baby, we have a puppy. Will this help a puppy sleep?"
"You know, I think my manager might know."
She turned right around and disappeared around the corner. I left the baby section with a big smile on my face. I'm sure there's some blog somewhere on MySpace written by a gum-chomping teenager that starts out, "like oh my god, today at work we had the dumbest customer."
Yesterday was 9 years 5 months
4 days ago